Lack of Interest

I am not depressed but just lacking interest today. I envisioned having a successful IVF treatment that produced beautiful twins with dark curly red hair.

My son went on to be a Rolex watchmaker and my daughter lacked passion in finding a career.

I invested mutually into both of them and gave them both quality time. I took out a personal loan to help my son after he graduated from his watchmaker program in Switzerland and bought my daughter a condo and a nice vehicle.

My daughter loved going out but didn't know what kind of career she wanted to focus. We are one of the same. Lack of drive but motivated. This is not depression.

This means that there is no purpose for either of us. Full of drive but no gas to get there. Full of hope but no place to apply it. Not able to find solace in the little things in life but not depressed either.

Life can cause people to lack interest if it does not produce the same results it used to.

As time passed....I watched my children grow and develop more.

Years later, I found a very well developed country, one of the world's most rich and productive nations to send my daughter to to find a husband.

My son fell in love with some one who had high end taste and values, but his six figure job was not enough for her. Not sure how long it will take for my daughter-in-law to file for divorce. These two share interests but she is more ambitious than him.

I am now in my sorrow. I still have no true interests and I don't really care about things that used to peak my interest.

I get rest but I still feel drained at times also. This is unfulfillment. I am no longer fulfilled with my life and I don't desire to accomplish anything more than what my Knowledge, Skills and Abilities can produce.

In the interim, I will color or do word finds to keep me busy.

I did find some comfort in my daughter living a beautiful life that I never got!