Bad Breaks and Horrible Circumstances

I am really upset right now.  I have excessive pain in my body; insomnia and I know that everything I seem to try to do is not working.  I am usually good at cooking and baking things, and I just experienced a zero for zero.

My first zero was the soup I tried to make.  I made some soup with mostly homemade ingredients, and it did not turn out the way I wanted to.  I know I can try to fix it, but is it worth trying to salvage in the first place.  My second zero for zero was the chocolate cake I made from scratch.  The perfect battered chocolate cake I made was too heavy to stay on top of the other layer; and it fell over.

I am really mad about this.  In my over 30 years of being able to prepare store bought or homemade items, this is probably my worst experience.  The cake does taste good, but the presentation is horrible.

This also has impacted my ability to focus, as the whole point of baking and cooking homemade meals is to use quality ingredients with precision.  This is the way I distress, and instead of finding comfort in what I prepared…I found failure instead.

My 48^th birthday is exactly in one week, and I now do not want to make the meal I planned to prepare.  I also now definitely want to go to Publix and purchase a gourmet birthday cake instead of making something myself.  Not sure how long it will take to get my confidence back up after such a bad experience.